Sunday, May 15, 2016

In Whom Do You Trust

Trust has always been a scary word for me; many would say with good reason. From the time I was a little girl, I had my trust violated. I grew up on an inner city block with the tough girls, but I wasn't one of them. I was always gentle and afraid of hurting people, so I was the one that got hurt. As a teenager in the suburbs, I was the victim of crime at fourteen years old. So who did I put my trust in- me! 

I grew up in church and I knew all about Jesus, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I actually knew Jesus. With a mind and a heart that was so afraid of losing control, it was so difficult to trust in God. Surrender only seemed to come in desperation. Does this sound familiar? Trust and faith are very hard things to achieve. In Matthew 17:20, Jesus tells his followers that if they had the faith of a mustard seed, they could tell a mountain to move and it would. 

Life happens, so of course over the years, the trust issues accumulated. This is something I have worked on for a long time. When I was a single mother, control was the word of the day. Self control may be a virtue, but we will never have control over everything. Having control is truly an illusion; at best we may feel in control. 

Through prayer and study of the Word, I am finally getting to the point of really putting trust in my Lord and Savior. I can honestly say I have true faith. This is something that I asked Him to help me with and He really has. 

Isn't it incredible to think that we can go to God and ask Him to help us do what He wants us to do and He will? Through looking back at all the times I needed Him and He got me through, I realized how faithful He has always been. He has never forsaken me. He has always loved me with no bounds, He has always helped me. Most of all, I have things in my life that have been resolved with no explanation, and I know that it was from Him. He showed me how much I can trust Him and put my faith in Him!

Oh what a wonderful God I serve! I lay my burdens at His feet every day. It is so freeing to not carry that weight anymore. I trust Him with it all. Sometimes I take those burdens back and I have to do it again. It's a process that hopefully will lessen over time. I never thought I could trust like this, but through Him and with Him through me I can. Not only do I trust in the Lord, but He has been healing the trust issues as well. 

My trust used to be in me, now my trust is in God. In whom do you really trust?