To Be A Friend

Friendship can be such a wonderful and yet such a challenging relationship. We can share such deep, intimate things and yet have such fun! Some of my best memories through the years have been with girlfriends.

Some of the hardest things through the years have also been with girlfriends. Have you ever been unfriended? Have you ever had someone walk away that you thought was a good friend? Sometimes it can be because of a bad argument or sometimes two people just grow apart. There are so many reasons this can happen, but regardless of why, it hurts, deeply.

I am in the beginning of a Bible study on friendship and it has caused me to reflect on friendships-- relationships of the past and present and my role in them. I am already learning a lot about friendship from a Biblical perspective and it has made me realize that I have a big part in deepening my present and future relationships. It begins with me!

Just like we drag past relationship baggage into our marriages, we also tend to do that with our friendships. Sure, our older than dirt relationships may be in great shape, the ones we have known forever have withstood the test of time and proven themselves. Think about it though, should others have to prove themselves for things that belong to other people? The answer is no. Trust issues are common because so many of us have been hurt. 

We live in a fallen world. The big mistake I have made is putting too much into people and not enough into my savior. We are all human, and we can't fill the holes in someone else nor can someone else fill our gaping holes. So maybe the answer is to go to our very best friend-our savior first, to get filled and then go to our friends. 

Becoming more, becoming whole though Jesus gives us so much more to give a relationship, and will make for a healthier one. When looking for answers about friendship in the Bible, one is hard pressed to find much about taking. What I have found is scripture about choosing well, being a team and giving.

In the book "Unfriended" by Lisa Jo Baker, Chapter One talks about friendship "PTSD." It was a revelation to me that so many others went through a lot with friendship like I did. I thought my problems were due to moving a lot and being different- like being a Northerner in the deep South or having chronic illness,  but apparently just being a woman qualifies! 

In Chapter Two, Lisa Jo talks about what it means to lay our lives down for our friends; being in it for the long haul. When one experiences a loss, a grieving that goes on for a long time, who is there to walk through it with you? I learned about this first hand a few times in my life, and while there were many there in the beginning, there were very few that stuck by me as time went on. That is the kind of friend we are called to be. Isn't that the kind of friend we want?

So the challenge is what kind of friend am I and are you going to be? It calls for us to be brave and to overcome the fear of being hurt and go the extra mile anyway-- like Jesus did. 

Jesus is the best friend we could ever ask for. He is always there, always reliable, always kind, gentle and comforting. He is a perfect example of the kind of friend I want to be. 

The Light In My Darkness

When we keep struggling, it can be like being stuck in a dark, black pit. With Jesus, there is always light.

When You're the light in my darkness
And my eyes are Yours
I see what You want me to see
Which leads to so much more                                                   When You're the light in my darkness
And my feet are yours
You lead me the right direction
To what You have in store    
                                You light up the things Inside of me
I couldn't see before
When Your light burns
Deep within
I feel safe and warm
                                      When You're the light in the darkness         My heart is Yours
Open wide for You to shine inside
Even where light's
not been before

You are the light in my darkness
And I'm never alone
You shine Your light for me to see
Leading the way home

Kimberly Burnette

In The Quiet Stillness

In the quiet stillness, my breathing slows and quiets as I become more conscious of everything around me. Creation's wonders astound as small blessings become so apparent. As layers of all that overwhelms are peeled away, a simple peace enfolds and the realization that balance is so easily lost. The importance of slowing down, taking time each day for the things that feed my personal relationship with the Lord, and being fully intentional are clear to see. Reestablishing the habits of prayer journaling daily, scripture writing a couple of times a day, and spending considerably more time with my God make a difference almost immediately. Once again, that still small voice has returned and my heart feels full.

It is so easy to get caught up in the world. We look for other people and things to make us feel better. Social media and television provide escapes from reality. We look to others to fill the voids and make things better too often. Sometimes we ask others to pray for us, but we leave out going to God and talking to Him too often. Spending time with Him, trusting in Him, relying on Him, working in His strength, inviting Him to work in and through us--things cannot happen this way with other people, because none of us is perfect. We are all flawed, we all make mistakes, mess up, have weaknesses and are not always emotionally available for others.

So I have come to this conclusion: I need to, I have to make the time for my priorities, and my priority needs to be the things that feed my relationship with God. When I take the time, and  give the important things the time and full attention they deserve, I can live life from the inside, with joy and peace. I am able to lay my burdens at Jesus' feet, live each day at a time, not take on too much at one time, and make sure that I am relying on God, who is strong in my weakness. My own strength runs out very quickly, especially when I face challenges.

Forgive me Lord for allowing myself to be caught up in things less important than You. Help me to hold onto the balance I am starting to achieve again maintaining distance from some of the things I have determined through prayer to not be right for me at this time. Help me to continue to follow You and not people, and to keep that straight. Help me to stay in the Word, always putting It before any other book. Help me to keep myself connected to You, and to turn to You before turning to others. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Holding On And Letting Go

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.   ~Psalm 55:22

Even though I have a bad back I have a habit of trying to do things myself. I'll bring home a carload of groceries which I got help with at the grocery store, and yet I try to bring in a fairly heavy load myself. I weigh myself down, leaving my cane in the car; so there I am with this weight I shouldn't be carrying and without the cane I should  have to keep me from falling down. I hurt myself when I do this, yet for some reason I do it repeatedly.

This is the same thing I do when I hold onto things that God asks me to let go of. It may seem easier, but I am carrying all this baggage that is weighing me down. God wants to take it from me, and handle it for me. I resist letting go because I think I know how life should be or I hold on too tight because I think what I am holding onto is good. I am resisting letting go of my will.

Deep down I know that He knows better, and yet when it comes to my children, or a situation where I have a deep desire for a certain outcome I have a really hard time letting go of my own will in the situation. It is very hard to fully release my loved ones to God even though I know they couldn't be in better hands. And there are times in some circumstances in my life when I just can't imagine that there could be a better answer than the one that is sitting right there waiting to happen and it's not.

God isn't the magic problem solver; He doesn't just make our problems go away, but He does have the perfect plan and the perfect timing. He does know better than I.

When He asks you or me to let go of
something, it's because He has
something better for us. Instead of holding on to what we want, we need to go of everything else and surrender it all to the One who loves us so unconditionally and completely. He wants us to let it all go and hold on to Him.

Let us pray: Father God, Thank you for being our perfect Father in Heaven and that You have a perfect plan for each one of us. Thank you for loving us so much that You make us wait for Your best. Help us hold on to the right thing which is You. Help us to let go of what belongs to You which is control. You are in control, and You use everything for the good. Help us to remember this when things don't go our way. Help us to surrender and let go of everything else and hold on tight to You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Father I place my life in Your hands.  ~Luke 23:46

Only You

Only You
I want it to be
Only You
In my mind
Within my soul
You're the one
To fill
The gaping holes
Only You

Only You
Can add soft colors
To my gray
Only You
Can show me
The one true way
You're the compass    
My true north                                            
Only You

Let it be            

More and more  
Of You
And less of me
Fill my heart
And my soul
Make me whole
In You,
Only You

Sweet Jesus,
Only You