After a series of tests, the doctor's office called me and wanted me to be there the next day. This is the specialist that is almost 200 miles away; who knows I live that far away. They wouldn't tell me anything, just that they needed me there the next day. Once more that fear crept in to me; what could be so wrong that they wouldn't tell me anything and they want me there tomorrow?
I called my husband and told him what happened which I had to do since I couldn't drive myself that far. Now there were two of us worried. The truth is I could have talked to everyone I knew and no one could have made me feel better about my appointment the next day. Nothing anyone said or did could have changed the anticipation I felt about the information I had not yet learned about my already deteriorating health. I just had to wait.
There are two things that help immensely in this type of situation and helped me that day: prayer and going to the Word. I prayed and was lead to my well worn chapter of Psalm that I go to frequently when I am afraid, Psalm 91. It is a chapter of comfort of promises; 8 promises that assure me that I am protected and safe with Him all the time.
When I read through Psalm 91 God says: I will rescue him, I will protect him, I will answer him, I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him, and honor him, with long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. What comfort that brings to me! Then there is the verse I cling to, I call it my 911 verse; Psalm 9:11- "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
Now I can breathe again. Whatever happens God has me covered. He has been with me through everything thus far and I have survived. He is faithful, He will always be with me and my Perfect Father will protect me.
The next day ended up being a false alarm. I was called in to the doctor's office right away because the doctor had to have surgery, oh how I wished they had told me that on the phone! While I did need to have medication changes there were no serious implications from my tests; everything was okay.
As someone with multiple serious chronic illnesses, fear can come with new and strong symptoms, strange test results and increasing medical bills.
While people may help us to feel better momentarily, the Word assures us of God's promises to be with us and take care of us through it all.
To read Psalm 91 click here