Saturday, January 21, 2017

Song Of Hope

Have you been in that place? That place where you can't get back up again? I wrote that poem way back when I was in the middle of a nasty divorce, my teen-aged children were thoroughly confused, and each one had problems of their own on top of trying to deal with a sick, alcoholic father and a mother who finally realized she couldn't fix him. The abuse that came in drunken episodes triggered memories of my own childhood trauma and I was overwhelmed with so much more than I could deal with. I was told I had PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had come to the end of myself. I had run out of everything.

God met me there. In the middle of being broken in a thousand pieces. Instead of giving up, I surrendered and my new life began. I had given my life to Jesus many years before that, but this was something different. I let Him in to the deepest parts of myself that had been locked up for so long. I let Him! I had been holding on to all the wrong things and I had no idea until I sat there on the floor, a total mess. I had tried so hard to keep control of everything as I watched myself lose control of so much. Now here I was admitting I had no control and trusting someone other than myself. It was like a light bulb went on. A light, finally after the longest, darkest night! I didn't feel alone anymore. I couldn't explain it, but now I had hope. Nothing had really changed, except my heart.

All of these things I had read, studied, heard, and even said to other people had finally gone from my head to my heart. I didn't know how but I knew things would get better, and that I was loved by Him, the Sovereign God, who moves mountains. I knew He would take care of me and my children- and He has. My life and theirs have changed for the better and we have been blessed immeasurably. That doesn't mean more trials didn't come along, they have. I am so much better equipped to handle the trials now, especially since I am not the one handling them, but He in me. And He has taught me to focus on the blessings, ones that I never take granted.

Do you remember when God met you in your mess? Did you ever come to the end of yourself and completely surrender to Him? Have you let go of trying to control things and given the reins to the One who reigns? Please share below and join me in this prayer:

Father God, Thank You for being my Heavenly Father. You are the one who is in control, not me, please forgive me for trying to control what isn't mine to control. Forgive me for not surrendering my life and will to You. I surrender myself to You right now Lord, and ask that You help me to align my will with Yours. Thank You for having a perfect plan for my life. Help me to trust You and to have the faith of a mustard seed. You have never broken a promise to me Lord, and You have blessed me. Thank you for all the blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
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