Forgiveness

Painting by Rob Northampton

When you swim against the tide

  It's hard to reach the other side

   When you hold onto the hurt

      It makes you sick inside

       Like following a storm

  When you're tired of the rain

      Wounds can never heal

   Until you let go of the pain

     Longing for an apology

     But you're the only one

Who can lay it down before Him

     And have the battle won

     You know forgiveness

  God forgives you every day

     And all he asks of you

Is you forgive in the same way

     Letting go of anger

     Is the dawn of a new day

     God loves us so much

        And there's no price for us to pay

    I was hurt so deeply

       It changed my life in many ways

   I laid it on the altar

  Now I walk away

       Praying for one who caused such pain

      What only Christ could help me do

    The battle's deep inside

    As I let go, He makes me new

     The power of forgiveness

     Shines a light so deep within

     I pray His presence is felt

     That it touches those sins

     The wounds are finally closing

     And the door behind me too

     Love no longer hiding

     As I move on to chapter two

     The rainbow after the storm

     Such brilliant shades and hues

    The clouds are moving aside

     As the sun comes shining through

     -2004-

Favorite Bible Verses

What are your favorite bible verses; which are most helpful to you?  I want to compile a list of verses that would be most comforting for people dealing with mental illness in their lives or the lives of those they love.



Mine are:

1- Phillipians 4:6-9
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 

As someone who deals with a lot of anxiety and still has some trust issues, this is the answer.  Trust God, consciously think about good things and know He is with you.

2- Isaiah 40:31

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

This says it all! There are many times that it feels like I am all used up.  When I depend on God, and
give it all to him, his strength is given to me, and I can keep going!

3- Psalm 139:13-14

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.

I was made as God wants me to be!  If he wanted me this way, then I can accept myself, flaws and all.

Please share what verses inspire you the most!

What If

Whether you have a mental illness, or you love someone who does, the "what-ifs" are something we need not give a voice to; I think at some point we have all done it.  For someone with a mental illness it can go something like this: "What if I didn't have a mental illness, what would my life be like?"  From there it can become "What could I have been?" or questioning how much better it could be.  For a family member the questions can be "What if I had known sooner?" or "What if I had done things better?"

This is dangerous thinking that can only be destructive.  When we think in these terms, we hold onto guilt and focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have.  Thinking along these lines is unrealistic on so many levels.  For consumers, how many tend to think that if they didn't have a mental illnesses their lives would be great?  Mental illness is a very long, difficult road to travel, but we have no way of knowing what our paths would be if life had been different.  This is also true for family members.  It's easy to think that if you had done things differently you could have been more help, or your loved one wouldn't have to live with the symptoms of their illness that they do.

Remember, God created us the way we are supposed to be, each one of us . Read Psalm 139:13-16: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139:13-16&version=NIV.  He loves us just the way we are.  He uses the very things we go through to form our characters and make us strong.  He has a special love for those who have the hardest things to cope with. There is great reward for those who go through suffering in this life.  Read the Beatitudes in Matthew 5: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:1-10&version=NIV.  God is also so forgiving.  Many who cope with mental illness in their lives whether in themselves or others, carry a lot of guilt, much of it being false.  Regardless of whether the guilt is valid, asking God for forgiveness can lift a huge burden off your shoulders.

If God loves us the way we are, I think it's time that we do the same for ourselves. Ask yourself this- how would you treat someone going through what you are going through?  Don't you deserve to think of yourself the same way?

I Love You Just The Way You Are

These are our babies- Lady the Lab, Buddy the Bassett/ Beagle and Max the Menace. We love them like they are our children, and boy do they act like children. Not only that but we know that if our dogs were people, each would have a mental diagnosis.

Lady is 9 years old. She has a combination of generalized anxiety and/or post-traumatic stress disorder. She was abused as a young dog and she scares easily as a result. She also has phobia. She is frightened to death of thunder and shakes like a leaf during storms. She also has a very hard time adjusting to change and when we moved 21/2 years ago, she got so stressed that she was put on an antidepressant.  She has abandonment issues that are typical of PTSD.

Buddy is 31/2 years old.  He was homeless when I found him almost two years ago. He has borderline personality and obsessive/compulsive disorder (OCD).  He bullies my other dogs when he wants more attention.  He closes our laptops with his paw when he wants our attention.  He climbs on top of us and stands inches from our faces. In other words, he can't get enough.  When he's not scaring off my other dogs, he carefully cleans their eyes and ears, indulging in one of his obsessions. He's either chasing them away or cuddling with them. And then there's his dirty underwear fetish, but we won't go there.

Max is our Dennis the Menace.  He is the epitome of ADHD. Max never wants to stop and I don't think he could if he tried.  He won’t stay in one place or sit still for very long.  He is impulsive and even though he knows he will get in trouble, he keeps digging out of the backyard and running off.  He refuses to come back until he's ready, and will walk up to us and then run off as if saying, "You can't make me!"  He is disruptive in a group and cannot stay focused on one thing for long.

Yes, we have our hands full with our "kids."  Every time we start to feel frustrated, they do something to redeem themselves.  They are affectionate and have many great qualities too, but we love them quirks and all.

We love them unconditionally.  That is what real love is all about. This means that we love them for who they are, although we will continue to try and curb their naughty behaviors.  That's the way God loves us.  Even when we are at our worst, he loves us the same.  At times you may feel like you have no one but God is always there just waiting for you to accept His love.  His love knows no bounds, it never changes and it only grows. He will never leave and he will always accept you.  Come as you are and he will love, support, and help you.

Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like
the great deep.
You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
 How priceless is your
unfailing love, O God!
   People take refuge in the shadow of your
wings.

-Psalm 36:5-7

Who's Driving?

Is God In The Driver's Seat?

Wow.  God really knows how to test me when    
it comes to being submissive to His will.  I mean
surrendering my children to Him?  Really, what is
He thinking?  How can I do that for more than
say an hour?  If we're supposed to completely
surrender our children, no matter what the age,
then why are we programmed this way?  I don't
understand God.  It's hard enough for me to"be
anxious for nothing" in matters concerning me. 
You can't expect me to be that way with my kids as well? 

Every night my husband and I pray together before we go to bed.  We start with our ill child, and then cover the other two children and the rest of our family.  We ask for specific things for them, and then say things like "according to your will," but honestly, I think deep down I am really thinking "according to my will."  Yes, I'm coming clean and admitting that I am not good at this surrender thing.  God knows I try to do it enough.  Sometimes I even succeed for a while, at least until I once more try to take the wheel from God. 

In my mind I know it doesn't make any difference.  He is still in control.  I can even imagine Him laughing at me saying, "You silly child, how could you possibly think you have any control?"  I don't think I have control, but when things feel out of control, it's almost like going on what I call "autopilot."

I know what I need to do, I know what needs to happen, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. God has His reasons for everything and He will work his plan with or without me. 

Okay God, I understand why you hit me with what feels like yet another two-by-four.  I can be so stubborn when it comes to my kids.  But one thing I have learned is that you made my son the way you did for a reason.  He has survived because of You and not me.  With all that has happened there is no earthly reason he should still be here.   You are faithful Lord.  Help me to be faithful and trusting, You are the one with the power. 

He is faithful and so much bigger than us.  Has anyone else prayed a prayer like this?