Be Still

Be still and know that I am God!  ~Psalm 46:10

Not long ago, I was troubled. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Every morning I would open my prayer journal and pour my heart out in prayer to the Lord. I had been avoiding it lately. The reason--I couldn't find the words. I didn't understand what was happening. I felt pretty settled, even peaceful. My hubby and I were still reading the Bible together almost every night and praying together before going to sleep. I still talked to God each day throughout the day. But I couldn't understand why I didn't have the words for my prayer journal. Instead I was telling God bits and pieces at different times out loud or in my mind. It seemed that things were coming together lately, and when friends would ask me questions, things that I used to think of as really wrong, didn't seem wrong anymore. I had heard a statement once "Everything in the universe right now at this point is a okay." That is how I felt- content, calm, almost serene. So where were my words?

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.  ~Psalm 62:5-6

It took a while for me to realize. I didn't have to have the words. It was okay for me to have a reprieve from my prayer journal because it was time for me to listen, to hear, to receive. I was at peace. I was experiencing the peace that knows no understanding. My circumstances hadn't changed much, but I was in a part of my own transformation where I was experiencing being still. This was new to me, in fact so new to me that I thought something was wrong. 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  ~ 1 Peter 5:7 

The Merriam Webster dictionary definition of still is: 1. devoid of or abstaining from motion 2. uttering no sound; quiet 3. calm, tranquil. Yes, I was not doing the work, God was working in me, renewing my mind; working in my heart. I was quiet, and He was talking to me. Thoughts that didn't come from my own mind were filling my mind. This peace that filled my being was from being still, and from being surrendered to God. Amazingly, I didn't realize I had surrendered to Him, it was more of a process than a motion.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.  ~ Romans 12:2 

In Psalm 46, God says "Be still and know I am God" and in some translations it says "cease striving and know that I am God." Cease striving, one of the biggest battles I have had- to stop trying to do so much on my own. I complicated so much that was really rather simple. For me what it boils down to is letting go of everything and holding on to one thing- my God. Laying my burdens at Jesus' feet has become a regular practice for me. On my good days I do just that, and on my not so good ones, I run right back into the arms of Jesus, and thank God that His mercies are new every morning.