Friday, October 20, 2017
When I got so sick that I couldn't do these things anymore, I realized what I lost and I grieved. But something else happened. I slowed down, and even learned how to be still. Many times, especially in the beginning, I had to be still. I reached out to God not as the strong, independent woman I tried to be, but as the struggling, weak and helpless woman I felt like I was. I opened the deepest parts of my heart out of desperation for help, relief and comfort. What I found was nothing short of miraculous. What I had read about and never understood I experienced first hand. God the Father, who comforted me like a little child, and took care of me in a whole new way. I let him have all of me, maybe for the first time. I thought I had surrendered myself completely before, but as a frail human, the tendency to hold some back is always there. This time, I didn't think about it, I just did it. For the first time, I was no longer thirsty.