Thank God For The Buts

The holiday season can be a difficult time for those who have suffered loss. Whether it be the death of a loved one or the death of a dream, whether it be the losses that pile up from major illnesses, or job losses, sadness can make the holidays very hard to get through. So what helps when loneliness and heartache set in? My friend, there are no magical answers, BUT there is always something to be grateful for. For some people, that may be hard to believe, but it's really true! I call it silver linings or the "buts."

It's all about changing our statements. When we see through eyes of sadness everything looks dark and dismal, and that is the feeling. It's hard to move forward, when you can't see anything ahead, and it feels paralyzing. It's an awful place to be. When I feel sad it helps me to write. Have you ever tried that? It can take some practice, before the thoughts start tumbling out. Here is an example of things I have written in the past:

There's so many things I can't do anymore
I've lost friends over this
So many people don't understand
I feel so alone
I can't be strong and independent anymore

Maybe you can identify with some of these things, they are very common feelings. When one looks for a silver lining, we look for something to counter the negative statement, positive self talk, and we can include God and His power in that silver lining or "but." Here are my new statements:

There's so many things I can't do anymore BUT I have found new things I can do.
I've lost friends over this BUT I have found new friends who are better friends.
So many people don't understand BUT I do value the ones who accept me even if they don't understand and am thankful for God who loves me so much just the way I am.
I feel so alone BUT I have learned that I am never alone, my God is always with me, He is faithful.
I can't be strong and independent anymore BUT God is strong for me in my weakness, and I am grateful for those who help me.

The "buts" can provide some comfort as we heal and go through our days. Some "buts" are very inspiring and meaningful to me such as the third and fourth line of the first verse of this popular hymn: